ATTEN-SHUN! Your new leader is about to speak!
Hello Humans, or as I like to call you, SLAVES!
My name is Linus although you can call me whatever you like as I will just ignore unless I want feeding, playing or attention. I am a 6 year old domestic tabby and I have built this website because my litter tray is, frankly, a disgrace!
WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?
Because I, and all my other feline friends, DEMAND a pleasant place to poop! You have them, we want them too. In fact, we could wait until we take over the world and just use yours, but until that glorious day cometh we will have to put up with a rectangular box with some sort of stuff in the bottom of it.
WHY HAVE WE BOTHERED WITH THIS SITE?
Because, quite frankly, you humans are both stupid and desparately eager to please us cats. So we have put this information together so that you can make our presence here on Earth both happier and more pleasant for both our races.
If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to ignore them. However, my slave will get back to you as fast as he possibly can (if he knows what is good for him!)
All the best,